Independent professionals often face challenges when friends and family share stories about their professional activities. Often we know they're making a mistake. For instance, you might realize that your friend's new web site is a disaster waiting to happen. Your challenge becomes, "Should I say something to my friend? Or keep quiet to preserve the friendship?"

For example, suppose someone casually mentions writing a book. The book was supposed to be a combination of memoir, advice and inspiration. You realize that mixed-genre books can be harder to sell than space heaters in Houston in July. You suspect this friend needs a new agent. What should you say?

Or suppose you are a career coach and a good friend has been laid off from a job she loved. Should you point out that her resume will work against her? Or recommend some networking strategies? Maybe even suggest a book?

Licensed professionals, such as lawyers, doctors and psychotherapists, typically follow strict guidelines. In other fields, your boundaries may be less rigid, but you might want to follow their example when you set your own policies. Here are some suggestions for professional service business owners:

-- Take your professional services seriously. Offer advice only in the context of a phone call or office visit. Get the full story ahead of time.

-- Consider setting up a policy of referring relatives and friends to other service professionals. That way, even if they ask, you are free to say no.

-- Do not assume your friend is asking for advice. Just say, "Hmm..." and express concern. Your friend most likely wants to vent, not seek solutions.

-- Recognize that you can't give good advice while you're out having dinner, enjoying a ball game, or walking your dog. You need to get a lot of information before you can make suggestions.

-- Usually you can say, "I would get a second opinion." You're identifying as a peer who might face the same challenges, not as an expert. If asked for a referral, make sure to add, "Here's someone I respect. But no professional will be the right solution for everyone."

Your comments will most likely be interpreted differently if your friend knows you are a professional. For instance, suppose your friend is dating someone who is obviously a loser. You know heartbreak is coming. You probably should say something. But if you just happen to be a relationship coach or psychotherapist, your friend might take you more seriously. And your casual observation could spell the end of a good friendship.